A Nottingham mum says she was “blamed” by the city council after her son missed two years of school due to special educational needs delays.
Stephanie Baxter’s 13-year-old son is autistic with pathological demand avoidance. Until September 2025 he had been out of school for two years due to burnout from his mainstream school setting.
Ms Baxter shared her story of her “fight” with Nottingham City Council on Monday (November 3) when she attended the Every Pair Tells a Story campaign movement outside County Hall in West Bridgford.
The movement took place across 88 local authorities in England and Scotland, involving parents or guardians leaving pairs of shoes outside council houses to represent individual children who have been ‘failed’ by their SEND service. Parents in the City Council area joined forces with those under Nottinghamshire County Council on Monday.
Ms Baxter’s fight for her son to have an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) in place – legal documents detailing a young person’s needs, required support and progress – began when he was in year six but this was “straight away denied despite having a diagnosis of autism”.
The mum says her son experienced burnout from sensory overwhelm starting secondary school, meaning he was unable to properly attend mainstream school for two years and receive a full curriculum other than English and Maths.
She said: “I had to say ‘I have to take you to secondary school, we have to try, can you just try today?’”, adding he was left “traumatised” from the experience.
Since September 2025, her son is now in an alternative education setting in the city, where he attends three days a week, has a tutor two days a week, has occupational therapy and speech and language therapy. He now receives a full curriculum.
Ms Baxter says she was “parentally blamed” by the City Council for her son not attending school, where a report from a council educational psychologist concluded her son was in burnout but alluded she was ‘accommodating’ his burnout state.
The mum struggled to find secondary schools suitable for her son, saying there were “no places” and was pushing for the council to find her son education outside of a school setting.
She and her son’s father paid privately for a barrister and private assessments, including an educational psychologist, due to support delays from the council but Ms Baxter said the council “wouldn’t budge” or accept the independent reports.
Because of this, she was set to take the authority to a tribunal at the end of January 2025 but this was extended until April this year. Before the April date arrived, an agreement was set up between Ms Baxter and the council for it to provide an appropriate support package for her son.
She said a tribunal judge ordered the authority to have the support package in place within seven weeks – Ms Baxter says the council broke time frames twice and her son’s education package was only finalised at the end of August 2025.
For Ms Baxter, it was a “full-time job” dealing with her son’s EHCP support through the council.
She said: “[We’ve] spent thousands of pounds to fight over two years… I had to hire an advocate to make [the process] clear – barristers aren’t cheap.
“It’s been expensive, it’s been scary, lonely at times, you feel lost. Luckily, there are other families that you don’t feel so alone.
“[Families] want to work together with the council. We don’t want to be gaslit, strung along – carrot on a stick – we want clear, concise, we want it followed up, we want the same person to deal with our case from start to finish with the EHCP.”
The mum questions the “continuity” of the EHCP process after her son’s case was given six different council SEND officers within 18 months.
She added: “I’ve been volunteering because I don’t have the capacity to work full time because of fighting the council, literally been off work on benefits, with a masters degree, because I’m fighting.”
Ms Baxter says she cannot put her trust in the council after her experience, saying: “When your child can’t access school, believe the parents, don’t blame them – we’re experts on our children. They voice to us if they can’t voice to others.
“What about those kids whose parents can’t afford private mental health support, who can’t take time off work to be with their child 24/7, who then struggle to pay the bills.”
A council spokesperson said in a statement: “We’re committed to supporting children and young people with SEND to reach their full potential, and we recognise how important it is that families feel listened to and involved throughout the process.
“While we can’t comment on individual cases, we continue to work closely with parents, schools and partners to improve our SEND services and ensure that every child receives the right support at the right time.
“The council is focused on strengthening communication with families, improving EHCP processes, and making sure that our approach is transparent, compassionate and centred on the needs of each child.”
